Is being black about race or more about a state of mind?

Of course I am a young black male who's been around long enough now to see and understand that being black or should I say being clified as black isn't always about your skin color but more times than none about your state of mind at least to other black people. I have two types of black friends, the ones who hate school and the ones who can't seem to get enough of it. I have black friends who truly feel to the depths of their souls that anything to intellectual or to hi-minded is white and I have black friends as well who feel the complete opposite. Those friends tend to feel that it is very unfair to question ones blackness just because they choose to attend an institution of higher learning, or because they don't always want to go to a club that plays Rick Ross "Tupacs Back" song 25 times. And because they don't drink Hennesy or like girls who are borderline overweight but considered to be hot because they have a Big most times out of shape . Is it fair to say that a black guy is not being black enough because he doesn't always choose to partake in such low brow & ignorant behavior? It becomes increasingly hard to converse with certain black people or wow a black girl on a date if you can't get what one may call "ghetto" at some point. It's like once you decide to take the conversation from a clothes, BET, hip hop and good ole party & bull ***ish temperament to a convo focusing more on the social ills of society or what are the best colleges to get into or any worldly lingo, you start to feel the disconnect. It automatically makes a brother feel like he's trying to be white and intellect and intelligence should never be frowned upon by anyone no matter who they are or what they are. So yet again I pose the question what is black? and must all black folks who decide to do something worth while with their Precious lives constantly feel like they must lower their intellect and use the -N- word, behave wildly, and speak with morbid and incorrect grammar to be black enough or is it just me?